Progress is never a conciliation with the Norms.. Understanding is never an isolation from Cross-Borders.. and Love is never a Loneliness nor Greed..!



Sunday, September 11, 2016

Fathers and Daughters




Now, I believe I had scarified my fatherhood for wrong reasons.. Yes, they were strong and ideal at that time, but evolved to be nonsense, unnecessary and unsustainable by time..
I was young and stupid..!

It had cost me not only the emotional stability, but the essence of existence.. It is sort of biological, psychiatric and intellectual feeders for the human being.. Issues that are deeply seeded in our genes and constitute irrational substance of our welbeing..!!

I feel deeply sorry for the daughter I had never had..
It is too painful..!

Pls, fight for your fatherhood rights..!!
Image result for father daughter story\
Image result for father daughter story\


Image result for father daughter story\


Why the Empathetic Leader Is the Best Leader


Expert in inspirational leadership Simon Sinek explains our biological need to be part of an altruistic organization.

Simon Sinek had penned a best-selling book on team-building and given a TED Talk seen, to date, by 17 million people when he discovered the secret of leadership that now governs his philosophy.
The revelation occurred during a conversation with a Marine Corps official about what makes the corps so extraordinarily tight-knit that Marines willingly trust each other with their very lives. Go into any Marine Corps mess hall, Lt. Gen. George Flynn told Sinek, and watch the Marines line up for their chow. The most junior eat first, followed in rank order, with the leaders eating last. This practice isn’t in any rulebook; the Marines just do it because of the way they view the responsibility of  leadership.
Whereas many people think leadership is about rank, power and privilege, Marines believe that true leadership is the willingness to place others’ needs above your own. For that reason Sinek titled his 2014 book Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don’t—a follow-up to his powerhouse Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action.
In Leaders Eat Last, the 40-year-old Sinek proposes a concept of leadership that has little to do with authority, management acumen or even being in charge. True leadership, Sinek says, is about empowering others to achieve things they didn’t think possible. Exceptional organizations, he says, “prioritize the well-being of their people and, in return, their people give everything they’ve got to protect and advance the well-being of one another and the organization.”
Whether we’re leading armies, multinational corporations or a fledgling home-based business, Sinek’s message is the same. “We all have the responsibility to become the leaders we wish we had,” he says in a phone conversation from his New York home.
A Biology Lesson
As it turns out, humans come equipped with a built-in chemistry set that gives us incentives to protect not just ourselves but also others. Four primary neurochemicals—endorphins, dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin (all essential to normal healthy brain function)—contribute to our positive feelings of happiness, pride, joy, achievement and fulfillment. And beyond just making us feel good (when properly balanced), they ensure our long-term survival.
Endorphins and dopamine are what Sinek calls “selfish” chemicals; they’re released so we’ll persist in the tasks we need to accomplish as individuals. Endorphins mask physical pain with pleasure. They can produce the euphoria of the runner’s high or—as in the Paleolithic era (Old Stone Age)—give us the strength to track prey miles and miles so we have enough to eat. Dopamine is behind the warm flush of satisfaction we feel when we complete a project or reach an important goal en route to an even larger goal. The feeling of satisfaction we get when we cross something off our to-do list is dopamine-fueled, and the release of dopamine increases as we take on larger challenges. “The bigger the goal, the more effort it requires, the more dopamine we get,” Sinek says. “This is why it feels really good to work hard to accomplish something difficult. Something quick and easy may only give us a little hit, if anything at all. There is no biological incentive to do nothing.”
Serotonin and oxytocin are the “selfless” chemicals. Serotonin is the molecular manifestation of the feeling of pride—we get it when we perceive others like or respect us. On a deep level, we need to feel that we and our work are valued by others, particularly those in our group. This compound reinforces the bond between parent and child, teacher and student, coach and player, boss and employee, leader and follower. At the same time, oxytocin is working to promote empathy and trust, allowing those bonds to deepen—unlike the instant-gratification rush delivered by dopamine, oxytocin has long-term effects that become amplified the more we bond with someone. As we learn to trust them and earn their trust in return, the more the oxytocin flows. This is the chemical manifestation of love. “It’s responsible for all the warm and fuzzies,” Sinek says. When we’re in the company of friends, family members and close colleagues, a flush of oxytocin propels acts of generosity that strengthen the connections.
Homo sapiens developed a herd instinct; thanks to those cooperative chemicals, we find comfort when we’re part of a group. “Our confidence that we can face the dangers around us literally depends on feeling safe in a group,” Sinek says. “Being on the periphery is dangerous. The loner on the edge of the group is far more susceptible to predators than someone who is safely surrounded and valued by others.”
Beyond the Reptile Brain
If you were driven only by endorphins and dopamine, you’d have a reptilian brain. Crocodiles, Sinek says, act completely on “me-first” instincts. When two hungry crocodiles spot the carcass of a wildebeest floating down the river, both will lunge at it. The faster and stronger of the two will consume every last bit, leaving nothing behind for his fellow croc. “There is no part of the reptilian brain that rewards cooperative behavior,” Sinek says.
Sinek admits there’s an awful lot of reptilian behavior at the top of companies these days—many corporate environments short-circuit our capacity for cooperation and compassion, instead promoting paranoia, cynicism and self-interest. “In the military we give medals to people who sacrifice so others may gain,” Sinek says. “In business we give bonuses to people who gained when others  sacrificed.”
Crocodile behavior works for a very few people in an organization, at least for a while. “You can absolutely have success when leaders eat first,” Sinek says. “But that success is going to be short-term and less able to weather hard times. In hard times people will not rush to the aid of a leader if they’ve never felt that he or she had put their interests first. You can get a lion to do what you want it to do by whipping it, but at some point it’s going to come back and bite  you.”
Putting profits before people was one reason so many banks and mortgage companies needed to be rescued with huge government bailouts after the stock market crash of 2008, Sinek says. Contrast that, he suggests, with big-box retailer Costco. “People sometimes criticize Costco because of its flat stock performance, but that’s only true if you evaluate on a quarterly basis. If you look over the course of a couple of decades, what you see is slow, steady growth. If you invested a dollar in Costco and a dollar in, say, General Electric in 1986, you would have made about 600 percent on your investment in GE up to now, and 1,200 percent on your Costco investment.”
When the economic slowdown rocked the retail world in 2009, Costco’s then-CEO James Sinegal approved a $1.50 hourly raise for employees, insisting that in a bad economy “we should be figuring out how to give [workers] more, not less.” Today, paying its employees an average of $21 an hour compared with Wal-Mart’s $13, Costco has extraordinarily low turnover—less than 10 percent for hourly employees.
It’s All About Empathy
Sinek says researching his latest book has even changed the way he conducts his own life and business. “The lesson I’m learning is that I’m useless by myself. My success hinges entirely on the people I work with—the people who enlist themselves to join me in my vision. And it’s my responsibility to see that they’re working at their best capacity.”
Empathy—the ability to recognize and share other people’s feelings—is the most important instrument in a leader’s toolbox, Sinek believes. It can be expressed in the simple words, “Is everything OK?”
It’s what effective leaders ask an employee, instead of commanding “Clean out your desk” when he or she starts slacking off. It’s what you ask a client when a once-harmonious relationship gets rocky. “I really believe in quiet confrontation,” Sinek says. “If you had a good working relationship with someone and it’s suddenly gone sour, I believe in saying something like, ‘When we started we were both so excited, and it’s become really difficult now. Are you OK? What’s changed?’ ”
Sinek has been training himself to be more empathic by paying attention to everyday gestures, such as holding elevators for others or refilling the coffeemaker. Even small acts of kindness release a tiny shot of feel-good oxytocin. What’s more, “These little considerations for others have a building effect,” Sinek says. “The daily practice of putting the well-being of others first has a compounding and reciprocal effect in relationships, in friendships, in the way we treat our clients and our colleagues.”
If Sinek sometimes sounds like someone singing “Kumbaya” around the campfire, he isn’t embarrassed.
“I’m the first to admit that I’m an idealist. Leaders Eat Last is a vision for the future. It offers some explanation of how we find ourselves where we are today and what we can do to change it.” He pauses, then—sounding like anything but a Paleolithic caveman—offers some parting words.
“True leadership isn’t the bastion of a few who sit at the top. It’s the responsibility of anyone who belongs to a group, and that means all of us. We all need to step up, take the risk and put our interests second—not always—but when it counts.”

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Three Interlinked Problematics

by Tarek Heggy
1] Identity : On August 13, 19 47 , the Muslim Indian who went to bed resolved to remain in India woke up on August 14, 19 47 still an Indian. But Muslim Indians who chose to leave India and join the new entity, Pakistan , slept as Indians and woke up the next morning having dropped the word Indian from their name and replaced it with a new appellation derived from the word ‘ Pakistan '.
However, given that a new identity cannot be acquired overnight, the truth is that Muslim Indians who decided not to remain Indian chose to discard the Indian component of their identity and retain only the Muslim – thereby falling victim to an acute identity crisis. For they had decided to define their identity in terms of only one of its constituent elements: the religious.
How did these Indian Muslims who had cast off the Indian component of their identity fare? Pakistan broke up into two separate states when its eastern province seceded and formed the new nation of Bangladesh . It was wracked by half a dozen military coups d'état and was ruled by military juntas for long stretches at a time. As for India , not only did it not witness a single military coup, but is universally acknowledged to be the largest democracy in the world. Moreover, it developed one of the best judicial systems of the age, unlike Pakistan , whose judiciary has all too often been dominated by the military. And, where India enjoys one of the best educational systems in the world, Pakistan 's educational system is in severe decline, not least because of the proliferation of religious madrasas , the main breeding ground of violence and terrorism in the world. While Pakistan , together with Arab and non-Arab partners, has provided violent Islamic organizations with some of their leading cadres, the sizable Muslim community in India , which boasts more members than the entire population of Pakistan , has remained largely aloof from these organizations.
That is because the Muslims of India who chose to retain their Indian citizenship did not fall victim to the identity crisis that has plagued Indian Muslims who renounced their Indian identity on August 14, 19 47 . This identity crisis is what has determined the course and destiny of Pakistan and its people, who have witnessed the break-up of Pakistan's territorial integrity with the secession of Bangladesh, the chain of military coups, the rule by military juntas and the abortion of democracy; the declining standards of education and the lack of an independent judiciary, not to mention the burgeoning seeds of violence and the fragility of social peace. Anyone concerned about the deficiencies and breakdowns afflicting many sectors in societies like Egypt cannot afford to ignore Pakistan 's identity crisis. For Egypt and other Arab societies are going through a crisis that is in its essence similar to the one besetting Pakistan in that both base identity on religion not citizenship.
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In 1938, Dr. Taha Hussein published his seminal work entitled The Future of Culture in Egypt . Among the many topics he addressed in the book was the issue of identity. He began by questioning who we are culturally: Are we part of the Arab world, the Islamic world or the Mediterranean basin? We could add yet another dimension to the question: or are we, given our geographical location, part of Africa ?
I believe the last six decades have brought about a great deal of confusion in the minds of Egyptians as to just what their identity is. If we were to ask a cross-section of Egyptians today to define their identity, some would say Muslim, others Arab and yet others would reply Egyptian.
The ambiguity surrounding the all-important question of identity in the country derives from political choices at the leadership level. During the Nasser era, emphasis was placed on Egypt 's Arab identity; in the past-Nasser years the emphasis gradually shifted to its Islamic identity. Today, Egypt is in dire need of concerted efforts in the cultural, information and educational fields aimed at dissipating the confusion and ambiguity in the contemporary Egyptian mindset over the critical question of identity. In my personal opinion, Egypt needs to come to terms with itself, so to speak, on the question of identity. But this cannot be achieved by promoting one aspect of the Egyptian identity over the others.
I believe the most suitable formula for the Egyptian case is a cultural defense of the compound nature of the Egyptian identity, which, like an onion, is made up of several layers. Only such a defense can dissipate the confusion and prevent partisanship and divisiveness. Moreover, it is the only defense that reflects the reality of the situation. There is no doubt that Islamic culture has played a major role in forming the Egyptian identity. But it is by no means the only factor. Arab culture too has played a major role in developing the contemporary Egyptian identity but it would also be wrong to claim that it is the only factor. It does, however, constitute a vital part of our identity. In this connection, it is interesting to recall the late nationalist Coptic leader Makram Ebeid and a current Patriarch of the Coptic Church, Pope Shenouda III , great orators both, whose mastery of the Arabic language enabled them to play leading roles in Egyptian public life and for whom Arabic culture is a component element of their identity.
In the final analysis, the compound nature of Egypt 's identity derives from its geographical location. Instilling a sense in the national psyche of the multi-layered composition of Egypt's identity, with its Arab, Muslim, Coptic and Mediterranean dimensions is the only way to avoid falling into a trap similar to the one in which the Pakistani identity now finds itself.
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I can see no way of stabilising the erratic needle on the compass of our Egyptian identity than through the medium of education. However, we are faced here with a massive and extremely complicated challenge. It would be all too easy to stuff educational programmes with material aimed at giving precedence to the Arab layer of our identity at the expense of all the others. It would be just as easy to churn out graduates with a sense of identity based on religion. But these are options that carry within them the seeds of social fragmentation as well as of society's isolation from the modern age. The ideal option, on the other hand, is not easy. It would require the development and introduction of educational material designed to teach young people that they are Egyptians first and foremost and that their Egyptianness is the end product of a shared past and common heritage made up of millennia of ancient Egyptian history, of a Coptic era, of Islamic centuries, of Arab culture and of countless influences linked to Egypt's status as one of the main countries abutting the Mediterranean sea. Difficult though it may be to put into effect, this option is the only one capable of achieving two primordial objectives at one and the same time: the first is social peace and harmony between the various components of society; the second is the ability to join the march of human progress.
2] Education : The question of education has been at the forefront of a vigorous national debate over the recent period. The consensus that seems to have been reached is that setting in place a modern and creative educational system is the only solution to the problems we are facing in the political, economic, cultural and social spheres, as well as the only antidote to the spread of an understanding and interpretation of religion running counter to science and the realities of the age. But though all agree that educational reform is the key to Egypt 's salvation, they differ when it comes to how best to go about it. Some are unable to see that discipline, though essential in all educational establishments, indeed, in any institution, cannot in and of itself create a modern and creative educational system capable of rising to the challenges of our age. Others see the solution as lying in the construction of more educational buildings. Actually, the essence of the challenge is related to three issues: the first is educational philosophy, the second is educational material or curricula and the third is the teacher.
By educational philosophy I mean the formulation – at the official level – of an answer to the following question: What are our aims when it comes to education? To answer this question we need to come up with what is known in modern management science as a vision. Our vision in regard to education could be based on the following: putting in place an educational system aimed at forming citizens [and a sense of citizenship] in step with the realities of our time, who believe in science, humanity and progress, who possess the tools of research, dialogue and criticism, who believe that science and technology are capable of creating better living standards, who believe in the universality of knowledge and science and who have struck a successful balance between pride in the past of their society and a determination to link their future to the march of human progress, to science and to civilization. The educational system should also aim at instilling in the minds and consciences of Egypt 's youth the values of progress. The most important of these values is the acceptance of criticism, the practice of self-criticism, pluralism, tolerance in all its forms, acceptance of the Other, a belief in the supremacy of education and progress, in humanity and peaceful co-existence between different cultures, in the sanctity of human rights and in the rights of women as partners in the creation of a better future.
It is vitally important for educational philosophy to recognize the imperative need to move from the current educational system based on learning by rote and memory tests to a modern system based on encouraging free thinking, initiative, dialogue and debate and on fostering the creativity and imaginative thinking of students, even if they end up forming opinions different from those of the teacher.
Educational curricula should on the one hand serve the agreed upon educational philosophy and, on the other, respond to the latest innovations in applied and social sciences.
As to the teacher, who is the cornerstone of any educational system, he or she must be capable of translating the educational philosophy into a workable formula for the students and of making the transition from the current educational system into one based on free thinking, initiative, dialogue, debate, research and critical thinking.
3] Democracy : Despite the theory propounded by some that each culture has its own form of democracy, the inescapable reality is that the essence of democracy does not change from one geographical location or culture to another. The essence of democracy is based on three essential factors. The first is that the ruler should come to power in response to free popular will. The second is that the ruler should govern in accordance with constitutional rules and be answerable to the people during and beyond his term in office. The third is that the ruler should leave office in a constitutional manner and that his term or terms should not extend in perpetuity.
Undemocratic forces in many societies pay lip service to the formal aspects of democracy by holding elections. But real democracy is not a question of elections as such but the step-by-step process of selection from beginning to end. It is a modern constitution in mature civil societies with solid institutions, parties enjoying equal rights, duties and opportunities, an independent judiciary, systems that guarantee transparency and mass media that rise above finger-pointing scandal mongering and finally, the voting process.
There is an obvious dialectical relationship between the issues of identity and education on the one hand and the issue of democracy on the other. Confusion in the area of identity can have a severe adverse effect on the process of selection that is at the heart of democracy. The same applies in regard to education. A modern educational system based on developing creativity, free thinking and critical faculties is what can transform the democratic process from a formalistic framework into a genuine tool for translating selection into decision.

Sunday, July 3, 2016

Capitalism is failing





The red flags and marching songs of Syriza during the Greek crisis, plus the expectation that the banks would be nationalised, revived briefly a 20th-century dream: the forced destruction of the market from above. For much of the 20th century this was how the left conceived the first stage of an economy beyond capitalism. The force would be applied by the working class, either at the ballot box or on the barricades. The lever would be the state. The opportunity would come through frequent episodes of economic collapse.
Instead over the past 25 years it has been the left’s project that has collapsed. The market destroyed the plan; individualism replaced collectivism and solidarity; the hugely expanded workforce of the world looks like a “proletariat”, but no longer thinks or behaves as it once did.
If you lived through all this, and disliked capitalism, it was traumatic. But in the process technology has created a new route out, which the remnants of the old left – and all other forces influenced by it – have either to embrace or die. Capitalism, it turns out, will not be abolished by forced-march techniques. It will be abolished by creating something more dynamic that exists, at first, almost unseen within the old system, but which will break through, reshaping the economy around new values and behaviours. I call this postcapitalism.


For more:

The Myth of Cosmopolitanism

NOW that populist rebellions are taking Britain out of the European Union and the Republican Party out of contention for the presidency, perhaps we should speak no more of left and right, liberals and conservatives. From now on the great political battles will be fought between nationalists and internationalists, nativists and globalists. From now on the loyalties that matter will be narrowly tribal — Make America Great Again, this blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England — or multicultural and cosmopolitan.
Well, maybe. But describing the division this way has one great flaw. It gives the elite side of the debate (the side that does most of the describing) too much credit for being truly cosmopolitan.
Genuine cosmopolitanism is a rare thing. It requires comfort with real difference, with forms of life that are truly exotic relative to one’s own. It takes its cue from a Roman playwright’s line that “nothing human is alien to me,” and goes outward ready to be transformed by what it finds.
The people who consider themselves “cosmopolitan” in today’s West, by contrast, are part of a meritocratic order that transforms difference into similarity, by plucking the best and brightest from everywhere and homogenizing them into the peculiar species that we call “global citizens.”
This species is racially diverse (within limits) and eager to assimilate the fun-seeming bits of foreign cultures — food, a touch of exotic spirituality. But no less than Brexit-voting Cornish villagers, our global citizens think and act as members of a tribe.
They have their own distinctive worldview (basically liberal Christianity without Christ), their own common educational experience, their own shared values and assumptions (social psychologists call these WEIRD — for Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich and Democratic), and of coursetheir own outgroups (evangelicals, Little Englanders) to fear, pity and despise. And like any tribal cohort they seek comfort and familiarity: From London to Paris to New York, each Western “global city” (like each “global university”) is increasingly interchangeable, so that wherever the citizen of the world travels he already feels at home.
Indeed elite tribalism is actively encouraged by the technologies of globalization, the ease of travel and communication. Distance and separation force encounter and immersion, which is why the age of empire made cosmopolitans as well as chauvinists — sometimes out of the same people. (There is more genuine cosmopolitanism in Rudyard Kipling and T. E. Lawrence and Richard Francis Burton than in a hundred Davos sessions.)
It is still possible to disappear into someone else’s culture, to leave the global-citizen bubble behind. But in my experience the people who do are exceptional or eccentric or natural outsiders to begin with — like a young writer I knew who had traveled Africa and Asia more or less on foot for years, not for a book but just because, or the daughter of evangelical missionaries who grew up in South Asia and lived in Washington, D.C., as a way station before moving her own family to the Middle East. They are not the people who ascend to power, who become the insiders against whom populists revolt.
In my own case — to speak as an insider for a moment — my cosmopolitanism probably peaked when I was about 11 years old, when I was simultaneously attending tongues-speaking Pentecostalist worship services, playing Little League in a working-class neighborhood, eating alongside aging hippies in macrobiotic restaurants on weekends, all the while attending a liberal Episcopalian parochial school. (It’s a long story.)
Whereas once I began attending a global university, living in global cities, working and traveling and socializing with my fellow global citizens, my experience of genuine cultural difference became far more superficial.
Not that there’s necessarily anything wrong with this. Human beings seek community, and permanent openness is hard to sustain.
But it’s a problem that our tribe of self-styled cosmopolitans doesn’t see itself clearly as a tribe: because that means our leaders can’t see themselves the way the Brexiteers and Trumpistas and Marine Le Pen voters see them.
They can’t see that what feels diverse on the inside can still seem like an aristocracy to the excluded, who look at cities like London and see, as Peter Mandler wrote for Dissent after the Brexit vote, “a nearly hereditary professional caste of lawyers, journalists, publicists, and intellectuals, an increasingly hereditary caste of politicians, tight coteries of cultural movers-and-shakers richly sponsored by multinational corporations.”
They can’t see that paeans to multicultural openness can sound like self-serving cant coming from open-borders Londoners who love Afghan restaurants but would never live near an immigrant housing project, or American liberals who hail the end of whiteness while doing everything possible to keep their kids out of majority-minority schools.
They can’t see that their vision of history’s arc bending inexorably away from tribe and creed and nation-state looks to outsiders like something familiar from eras past: A powerful caste’s self-serving explanation for why it alone deserves to rule the world.
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/03/opinion/sunday/the-myth-of-cosmopolitanism.html?action=click&pgtype=Homepage&clickSource=story-heading&module=opinion-c-col-right-region&region=opinion-c-col-right-region&WT.nav=opinion-c-col-right-region&_r=1

Saturday, July 2, 2016

جيل مضروب


برغم براعة الكاتب في تشريح المشكلة ، إلا أنني أختلف معه في أن الأمر ليس متعلقاً بالتبذير أو الثراء ، بل   بالأفكار الفاسدة حول التربية الحديثة.. لقد بدأ الأمر منذ السبعينات ، إثر نكسة الأيام الست ، التي جلبت الى العرب التشكيك في كل مقدراتهم وثقافتهم وهوياتهم ، وطفق أرباب صنعة الكلام من الصحافيين والكتاب في التغني بالتجارب الغربية ومدي براعتها في خلق أجيال جديدة .. أدى هذا إلى أن يعمد الأباء والأمهات إلى أساليب تربوية أكثر ديمقراطية وأقل عنفاً ، ونشأ على هذا جيل الأكس ، وبهم عند تمام الدورة الديموجرافية ، نشأ جيل الملينيا على نحو متسيب أكثر منه حراً ، وديماجوجياً أكثر منه براجماتياً 

المشكلة صارت بلا حل ، تشمل كافة طبقات المجتمع وكافة شرائحه ، ولعلها أكثر وضوحاً لدى النقيضين ، الأكثر ثراءاً والأكثر فقراً ، وسوف يتطلب الأمر أكثر من النقاش والدعاء بأن يصرف الله السوء والخطر

للكاتب/عبدالله الغامدي

أطفالنا ما أطول ألسنتهم أمام أمهاتهم والخادمات ، ولكنهم أمام الكاميرا يصبحون كالأرانب المذعورة، لا أدري كيف يحدث هذا.؟

الكسل أحلى من العسل
ماذا جنى الأولاد والبنات من هذا الكسل ؟
لا شيء سوى الطفش
دائماً صغارنا وكبارنا ونسائنا طفشانين

السبب : لأنهم لا يعملون شيئاً
من لا يتعب لا يحس بطعم الراحة .. ومن لا يجوع لا يحس بطعم الأكل
كل مشاوير بيتزاهت وماكدونالد لم تعد تسعد صغارنا ، ولم يبق إلا متعة صغيرة في النوم في بيت الخالة ، والتي لا يسمح بها دائماً.. ولذلك بقي لها شيء من المتعة
هذا السيناريو هو السائد في معظم المنازل السعودية والخليجية

المصيبة لا تحدث الآن ، ولكنها تحدث بعد عشرين سنة من التبطح، تكون نتيجتها: بنت غير صالحة للزواج

وولد غير صالح لتحمل أعباء الزواج هو الآخر .. لأنه ببساطة : غياب تحمل المسؤولية لمدة عشرين عاماً لا يمكن أن يتغير من خلالها الابن بسبب قرار الزواج ، أو بسبب تغير سياسة المنزل، لأن هذه خصال وقدرات إذا لم تبن وتزرع مع الزمن فإنه من الصعوبة بمكان استعادتها

الانضباط ممارسة يومية لا يمكن أن تقرر أن تنضبط في عمر متأخرة لكي يحدث الانضباط. وبلا انضباط لا يمكن أن تستقيم حياة

بيل غيتس، أغنى رجل في العالم يملك 49 ألف مليون دولار ، أي ما يعادل 180 ألف مليون ريال سعودي ، ويعمل في منزله شخصان فقط ..! تخيلوا لو كان بيل غيتس خليجياً كم سيعمل في منزله من شغاله؟ 30، 40، ألف، أو أهل اندونيسيا كله

أذكر أيام دراستي في أمريكا أنني سكنت مع عائلة أمريكية ثرية ولم يكونوا يأكلون في ماكدونالد إلا مرة واحدة في الشهر ، وتحت إلحاح شديد من أولادهم
ولم يكن أولادهم يحصلون على مصروف إلا عن طريق العمل في شركة والدهم عن أجر بالساعة

لا أحد 'يبذر' بالاموال على أولاده كأهل الخليج
جيل الآباء الحاليين في الخليج عانى من شظف العيش وقسوة التربية فجاء الإغداق المالي والدلال على الجيل الحالي بلا حدود كتعويض عن حرمان سابق
حتى أثرياء عرب الشام ومصر أكثر حذراً في مسألة الصرف على أولادهم
الآن أجيال كثيرة في الخليج قادمة للزواج لن تستطيع تحمل الأعباء المالية لخادمة، حتى وإن كانت خادمة بيت الأهل تقوم بهذا الدور مؤقتاً فإنها لن تستطيع على المدى الطويل

والإبن الفاضل سيتأفف من أول مشوار لزوجته الجديدة ثم تبدأ الشجارات الصغيرة والكبيرة التي تتطور وتصل للمحاكم وتنتهي بالطلاق ، وهذا مايفسر ارتفاع معدلات الطلاق في المملكة والخليج في السنوات الأخيرة

في الخليج نعيش الحياة على طريقة ( تتدبر) ! ، في المجتمع المدني يجب أن تدبر أمورك مبكراً ، وفي أمور الحياة يجب أن تبذل عمرك كله
الطفل الذي يرمي حقيبته بجانب أقرب جدار في المنزل سيدفع ثمن هذه اللامبالاة حينما يكبر ومن أصعب الأشياء تغيير الطبائع والسلوك
قولة : ( تتدبر ) هذه قد تصلح قديماً في زمن الغوص
وزمن الصحراء
والحياة في انتظار المطر
ولكنها لا تصلح للحياة المدنية التي تحتاج إلى انضباط ومنهج . وتدبير منا نحن في كل شؤون حياتنا منذ الدقيقة الأولى من المباراة
السؤال هنا هل سنسعى للتغير من أنفسنا ومن أسلوب تربيتنا ﻷولادنا أم سنتركها تتدبر
لا تسرفوا فى تلبية مطالب الرفاهية للأبناء
فيملوا ويسأموا
فإذا سئموا ساء خلقهم وارتفع صوتهم
ويتساءل الآباء و الأمهات
لماذا هم ساخطون ونحن لرغباتهم ملبون ؟

والجواب
لأنكم حرمتموهم من لذة الكد و السعى لتحقيق الأهداف
فصارت الحياة بلا طعم ولا معنى
لأنكم حرمتموهم من لذة العطف على الفقراء و الإيثار
فصارت النفوس جافة قاسية
لأنكم حرمتموهم من لذة العلم والإيمان
فخربت القلوب
غيروا سياسة التربية
غيروا فكرة لا أريد ان يشعر ابني بأنه محروم من شي
واجعل حياة ابنك - بنتك - مليئة بالأهداف ، و الحركة ، و السعى لنفع الناس
ربيه على أن قيمته فى نفعه لغيره
وليس فى قيمة الجوال الذى يمتلكه ، والسيارة التى يركبها ، وماركة التى شيرت والنظارة
قيمته فى تزكيته لنفسه بالعلم النافع والعمل الصالح والخلق القويم
قيمته فى عبادته لربه و بره بأمه وإحسانه. لجاره
نريد ثورة تربوية
ثورة على مفاهيم المادية والاستهلاكية والتنافس